Just a Post

Like one of my dear friend's post explains, , I have also, always, been a misanthrope. I don't know what made me one. I don't know since when i have become one. But I know that I have been one ever since I can remember. Maybe it was my troubled childhood that led to the eventual distrust I have in mankind. I realised when I was a child itself, that I will never be able to understand the human society or "fit into" it. I've never wanted to and I've never tried to "fit into" the society either.

Everywhere I looked, I saw pretensions, and I saw to what extends people will give up their integrity and individuality to "fit in". And it reaffirmed my conception about the pathetic state we humans live in. We are all scared. We live our lives in fear of one thing or the other.   And we always need something to fear about. That uncertainty fuels our will to live for a tomorrow. We never are satisfied with today. We always hope for a better tomorrow. And the sad part is that when a tomorrow comes, it again becomes just another today, with the hope of a better tomorrow. And that tomorrow perhaps will never come.

Anyways, as I said earlier, I had a very troubled childhood and that has helped me form a lot of my ideas about life and the human society. And as I grew older and moved away into different circles, it became worse. Whatever I understood about life and the people in it, minimized my hope for a better tomorrow. All of us know that the tomorrow might never come. But most of us are too scared to accept it and live in the present. We all tend to live either in the past or in the future.

But what about people like me? What do you do when you understand that tomorrow holds no meaning? What would inspire you to live? I have been someone who has been constantly fighting depression. Of course, I have not had any treatment or anything, but I have tried really hard to fight it and I have had to do it a lot many times. And with depression, comes thoughts of self destruction, suicide, giving up etc. I have fought with all this all my life. I still struggle with it. And too often I have wished there was someone who understood. That there was someone who just heard me out, who saw the pain behind my smiles, the tears I hid. I have wished that someone would listen, that someone was there to prove that my conception about the world is wrong, that all the pain will go away. That someone would just hold my hand and sit next to me and just understand my silence.

I have come a long way and I have changed a lot. There are people in my life who have made a difference and given me the strength to dream. But I know, out of experience, how scary it is when you feel lonely. How scary it is when you feel that no one is there. But trust me, it will be better, it will all change. It has to change some day.

October was Depression Awareness Month. I know that this blog post comes a little late, but better late than never. For every problem, there can be a solution- as long as you are ready to acknowledge the problem. If you know a friend or anyone who might be suffering from depression, try to help him/ her out. You could be the difference in their life, you could make a change. You could save their life.

Here is a blog post I came across about depression, its symptoms and the different ways you could help someone suffering from depression. Please read it and share it. It could be of someone's help.

Be the change you want to see.