Of Insomnia and other things
So, it is 3 in the morning and i don't want to sleep. But i don't want to work either cos my brain is too clogged and i cant think straight. i cant go for a walk or anything cos it is too cold outside (and honestly, physical strain is way beyond something i can even understand, let alone enjoy).
maybe i should watch something. but as i said before, my brain is too clogged to understand or comprehend anything i see or hear.
so now what?
This is the worst kind of disease to become a victim of and in this place it is almost contagious. I don't exactly remember since when i've become an insomniac. but now, it feels like i've been like this forever. and it is not like i don't enjoy sleep. i jus don't fall asleep wen i try to.
maybe i shud never try doing anything. cos every tym i try, it is as though fate (or God) or life is mocking me. i never achieve anything i try for but i always get more satisfaction for things i get vthout even trying for it. for instance, in a recent exam, i got a 17 on 25 and honestly i got no clue abt wat i wrote. i donno if a "good student" wud think of it as good marks but i knw wat i've done for it and i am happy. very. and wen i think of it, if i had put a little more effort to it, maybe these marks wud have been a dissapointment. but i din't. and that is why i am happy.
does that make me a bad person?
as said earlier, these are the random ravings of a sleep deprived idle mind, so pls feel free to express urself after reading this. u can say watever u want, abuse wat i have written. watever. cos at the end of the day, the mind is all that matters.
maybe i should watch something. but as i said before, my brain is too clogged to understand or comprehend anything i see or hear.
so now what?
This is the worst kind of disease to become a victim of and in this place it is almost contagious. I don't exactly remember since when i've become an insomniac. but now, it feels like i've been like this forever. and it is not like i don't enjoy sleep. i jus don't fall asleep wen i try to.
maybe i shud never try doing anything. cos every tym i try, it is as though fate (or God) or life is mocking me. i never achieve anything i try for but i always get more satisfaction for things i get vthout even trying for it. for instance, in a recent exam, i got a 17 on 25 and honestly i got no clue abt wat i wrote. i donno if a "good student" wud think of it as good marks but i knw wat i've done for it and i am happy. very. and wen i think of it, if i had put a little more effort to it, maybe these marks wud have been a dissapointment. but i din't. and that is why i am happy.
does that make me a bad person?
as said earlier, these are the random ravings of a sleep deprived idle mind, so pls feel free to express urself after reading this. u can say watever u want, abuse wat i have written. watever. cos at the end of the day, the mind is all that matters.
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